Sunday, May 11, 2008

On Purity

Since I started my relationship with the love of my life the number 1 question from my friends who are also Christians is "How's your purity?" a surprisingly invasive, yet a justifiable question. If you're dating God's way the Bible says that in our relationship "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." Ephesians 5:3. My love and I are constantly discussing what that means for us. As far as physical intimacy our relationship looks pretty much like this: We hold hands, we kiss on the cheek, we hug briefly. We're never in each other’s houses alone. EVER. If we decide to get married our first kiss will be at the altar.
The idea of it can seem daunting, overwhelmingly restricted, frustrating to the point of death, seemingly impossible even. I am writing this because I have to give a shout out to God on this one. He should receive all the glory for our everyday victories. I feel confident that we can continue on like this because I have dozens of friends who are happily married and had a physical relationship that looked just like ours. They didn't explode or rush into marriage. They prayed through their struggles and waited on God's timing.
Beyond the physical we also choose our words carefully, as not to try to seduce each other in our discussions. We are making every effort to be glorifying to God by keeping our relationship pure.
It really feels funny to brag on this but I have to. It seems so ridiculous to most people to even try this kind of relationship in this day and age.
6 years ago when I got baptized I too was in disbelief that it could be possible to live like this.
There are a few reasons I believe that this is working so far:
A. Before we even got together we both had strong convictions that we wanted our relationship to be like this. I didn’t have to convince him, nor did he have to convince me.
B. God is our number one. We both strive to love our creator exponentially beyond our love for one another
C. We are equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). Before we got together we learned that we share the same faith and enjoy worshiping together, had similar values and goals.

Honestly, I feel so close to this guy because the smoke screen of physical intimacy is not in the way. He really hears me, I feel safe, deeply loved and protected. Don’t get it twisted, by no means am I the relationship guru but I’m excited to see how my faith is bearing beautiful gorgeous fruit. Friends, Family, anyone who takes the time to read this, I invite you to help me to be the woman I want to be by asking me about how it's going. If you’re trying a similar thing let me know. Despite being in the Beyonce’ and Jay-Z era of don't ask, don't tell, I invite you to ask me about it. Be a part of the journey, so we can give God the glory. Amen.


RMS said...


i love your comments and sentiments. thank you for sharing. god bless you and keep you.

rachel mcc-sanden

Positive Individual said...

Alex, let's catch up on this topic... it's been a while since we revisited it.

Simone Ayanna said...

Hey Alex, I've got to give you an "Amen" on your blog. I think that purity in relationships is both awesome and refreshing, and definitely something my awesome bfiC (boyfriend in Christ)and I strive for. Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am so touched to have read your blog. I wish relationships like yours were the norm, not the exception. May the Lord richly bless you both!