Last night I decided to catch up my non-cable having self on music videos. I work a lot with teen girls and young people so I feel that I should from time to time make an effort to know what's really going on outside of my interests. Watching the latest videos I felt like the little girl on the latest Dove commercial where they flash all these ads of women and at the end of the commercial the little girl is sitting on the couch taking it all in.
Since I have been walking with the Lord I have had to change my look. Those of you who know me pre-2002, remember me as the one with the stretch jeans and the backless shirt, or in the low back mini-dress. I was so excited when I graduated from High School. No more dress codes! There was not too many a day I wasn't strutting around the Atlanta University Center with out some kind of short short or mid-drift top. Although I was a cheerleader in High School and a dance major I never really felt like I was in the "in-crowd". In college I loved the attention my figure showing outfits provided. As I was going through my bible studies that really made me examine my life we came to the dreaded topic. Modesty.
The loving sisters that studied the Bible with me told me that I would have to change. I remember mumbling with teary eyes, "I can't be cute anymore?"
I couldn't even imagine a world without plunging necklines and tube dresses.
Years have passed and I have figured out how to dress my curvy figure in a way that is flattering and still Godly. But being a woman in this world is still a struggle. Someone once shared with me, something like "Men struggle with looking at pornography but women struggle with committing pornography".
It takes a lot of spiritual effort to live like this. It's easy to base how fine I am on how many hollers at I get walking down the street. Of course I want my boyfriend to be attracted to me. Thank God he's attracted to me for so much more than how I look.
Janelle Monae's performance at Summerstage this afternoon was so inspiring. She's a gorgeous woman not resorting to dropping it and popping it to get ahead. It encouraged me to keep on keeping on. When I get ahead it probably won't be the easy or most obvious route but at least my soul will still be attached.
Marie Cosindas, 93
2 weeks ago