What Are You Thankful For...

Because Thanksgiving is about so much more than food, I want to charge everyone with writing a list of the top 100 things that they are most thankful for. It can be as small as being thankful for being able to breathe everyday, the first 100 things that come to mind....Let me know how it turns out!

WE DID IT AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Afraid to be happy?

Right now I'm really happy. REALLY REALLY HAPPY. And it scares me to the point of tears and weeping. Everything is going really well for me. I'm warm and well fed, carving out my own way in the world, doing what I want to do, working hard, dangerously in love, successful in my career, and surrounded by loving friendships. Yet, I am afraid to rest in my joy. I am afraid to rest in my contentment. Afraid that someone is going to pull the rug out under me. I mean look at Jennifer Hudson, she's carved out her own way, Oscar winner, new movie, new solo album, and then someone comes and kills her family! Although I've read this scripture, ..."I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:11-12, I have always looked at it one sided. I never realized how challenging it can be to be content when you actually have everything you NEED. Our society functions mostly on people being unsatisfied. That's seems to drive capitalism. If we were content with what we actually had many many institutions would go out of business. But, anyway, I don't want to be afraid to be happy. I don't want to be driven by fear. I want to be driven by grace, compassion and love. I don't want to be great because I'm better than her over there. I want to be great because I am me. I want to be courageous in my happiness and confident that regardless of my circumstances or even if everything that is contributing to my happiness now that is outside of me and my control that if it all falls apart that I will endure. And endure in joy. Maybe that's the secret....
"When God gives people wealth and possessions, and the ABILITY TO ENJOY THEM, to accept their lot and be HAPPY in their toil-this is a gift of God" Ecclesiastes 5:19

On Materialism, I mean fashion....

Last October 19th in 2007 I decided to do an extreme fast. No buying of any clothes, shoes, or accessories for myself unless it was of absolute need or a replacement. For example if my jeans ripped I could buy a new pair or if I needed a new leotard for a performance. Other than that nothing, zip, zilch, nada. I knew it would be challenging but I had hoped that I would learn to be grateful for all that I had and not be so quick to buy buy buy. Since I looove fashion I knew it would be a great sacrifice.
Well I made it! It wasn't easy. I learned so much about myself and I wanted to share it with you.

1. You don't need a lot of clothes to be fashionable.
I had a lot of clothes with a continual thirst for more. Inspired by this article of this fashion designer who only wore gray and her closet was half the size of mine, I began to purge. Not only did I not buy anything that wasn't a necessity but I also I gave away at least 4-6 large shopping bags of clothes and shoes over the course of this year. I began to put my creativity to work and focused on accessorizing.

2. Do your laundry often.
I realized when I wanted to shop the most it was when my clothes were in the dirty clothes hamper! I had forgotten all about them and I was tempted to shop. Also, carrying 3-4 large bundles of laundry down the three flights of my Brownstone apt building made me not want ANY more clothes.

3. Know your body type.
Understanding what looks best on your silhouette makes a world of difference and will save you a lot of time. For my athletically curvy figure, dresses and skirts, especially A line or vintage always looks great and modest.

4. You can wear the same thing over again.
It's not the end of the world. Change up your shoes, add a belt, wear a sweater over it. No one will notice. And if they do, WHO CARES!!!!

5. When you buy, buy quality.
It's better to have a few favorite quality pieces than a whole bunch of cheaply made things. Cheaply made things fall apart. You also can not always know the quality based on the price. Just because a pair of shoes costs $200 doesn't mean that its well made. You can find QUALITY items at a boutique or at the Salvation Army. You must examine where it's made and what it's made out of. ( Most things made before the 1990's are much better quality. That was before outsourcing and when people actually cared about the quality of their work) Only invest in timeless pieces. Unless you're Rihanna don't buy a military print Louis Vuitton bag. If you're going to invest in something like a Christian Louboutin pump or a Dior coat make sure it's something that can be worn season after season.

Overall, I believe I have a more discerning eye and appreciation for what I already have. I am also not afraid now to give away. If it doesn't fit quite right, or I haven't worn it in a year or I just don't NEED it I will sell it at Beacon's Closet or donate it to the Goodwill. While it's fun to look fabulous, this challenge also helped me to grow in my confidence of my inner beauty which is more valuable to God. With the recession looming over us, I am sure we'll all have to cut corners wherever we can.

Trouble the Water

This afternoon after a hectic day at work I decided to go see Trouble the Water. I wasn't looking for a pick me up and it certainly wasn't that but I just needed to be shaken out of my own world for a bit.
Because I am a Black Woman living in America I ultimately somehow identify with all the struggles of all Black people period. But it was jarring to see how vastly different my coming up and the upbringing of the couple in the 9th ward in New Orleans was.

I had two parents in my household. Both of my parents went to college. Even though they had their issues and we weren't the richest family on the block we never went with out food, running water, school supplies, or anything we needed for that matter. My parents tried to protect me from negative media images and kept me in constant dialogue. I got to go to college and graduate school and I get to live my artist life in NY because of their sacrifices. Not because I'm just oh so smart or oh so talented or oh so cute. I was set up to win.

The couple in the film had the complete opposite experience. Their schooling was sub-par, their neighborhood was dilapidated, parents on drugs and dying from HIV no money to go to college. They were set up for failure. Yet this couple was able to prevail in spite of the government spitting in their faces. They might have been "uneducated" but they sure were not stupid. They are acutely aware of what's going on in this world and why.
My whole concept of poverty has changed. See the movie; let me know what you think.

Meditations on The Democratic National Convention 2008

My stream of consciousness from 4 evenings glued to the tube:
1. Michelle Obama is so gorgeous, but wait a minute, look at her HAIR. Her hair is so shiny and look how it moves! She needs her own Pantene commercial. Weaves are so last year!

2. Those kids are so cute! I can tell Sasha's the feisty one.

3. I am so sleepy, but I must must stay up for Hillary's speech. I like these regular citizens. I can't believe my brother just said that the poor elderly woman from Eden, NC looks like a White Medea. He's TERRIBLE! I'm so so sleepy. Oh there she goes! Hillary did her job and she looks fierce in her creamcicle pantsuit. Didn't Chelsea use to be a red head? She looks great too. I'm not sure how I feel about the Harriet Tubman reference but it is effective.

4. Biden was definitely the right choice! What a great story Beau shared about their lives. He was a smart choice. I feel reassured that they are on the same page. And I guess Obama is "clean"??? But we forgive him for those strange comments.

5. Whohoo! They're in the big house now. I wish they showed John Legend's performance. I like these Generals. Oh, I can't believe I missed the Al Gore speech. I guess I will catch it on You Tube. Blurry Blurry, Oh here he is! He looks so well rested and so comfortable up there. His shape up looks real fresh too. Yes! He's being so specific and he's talking about McCain! Thoughts shifting to my own personal responsibility....I am so inspired! America is going to turn around!

6. Okay, my brain is clearly fried after 4 days of oratory and commentary, which probably is why all I can remember is how people looked and if they said something good or if it stunk up the place. If you really want to hear this speeches listen for yourself at NPR.org!

Beautiful like Sarah/Sexy with my clothes on

Last night I decided to catch up my non-cable having self on music videos. I work a lot with teen girls and young people so I feel that I should from time to time make an effort to know what's really going on outside of my interests. Watching the latest videos I felt like the little girl on the latest Dove commercial where they flash all these ads of women and at the end of the commercial the little girl is sitting on the couch taking it all in.
Since I have been walking with the Lord I have had to change my look. Those of you who know me pre-2002, remember me as the one with the stretch jeans and the backless shirt, or in the low back mini-dress. I was so excited when I graduated from High School. No more dress codes! There was not too many a day I wasn't strutting around the Atlanta University Center with out some kind of short short or mid-drift top. Although I was a cheerleader in High School and a dance major I never really felt like I was in the "in-crowd". In college I loved the attention my figure showing outfits provided. As I was going through my bible studies that really made me examine my life we came to the dreaded topic. Modesty.
The loving sisters that studied the Bible with me told me that I would have to change. I remember mumbling with teary eyes, "I can't be cute anymore?"

I couldn't even imagine a world without plunging necklines and tube dresses.

Years have passed and I have figured out how to dress my curvy figure in a way that is flattering and still Godly. But being a woman in this world is still a struggle. Someone once shared with me, something like "Men struggle with looking at pornography but women struggle with committing pornography".
It takes a lot of spiritual effort to live like this. It's easy to base how fine I am on how many hollers at I get walking down the street. Of course I want my boyfriend to be attracted to me. Thank God he's attracted to me for so much more than how I look.
Janelle Monae's performance at Summerstage this afternoon was so inspiring. She's a gorgeous woman not resorting to dropping it and popping it to get ahead. It encouraged me to keep on keeping on. When I get ahead it probably won't be the easy or most obvious route but at least my soul will still be attached.